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Wrinkle-free Wednesdays

Guest Post by Lisa Powell

Every single has a story.  Some are single by design, others by circumstance.  A few are content, while others battle daily to exit this undesired state.  Though we all have different stories, one thing that most singles seem to have in common is a desire to know how to best utilize their time now.

One question I am most commonly asked by all singles is, “What to do while you wait?”  So for those Christian singles out there who desire to get married (which is the vast majority), there are at least two key things you should be doing during your season of singleness.

1. Develop a relationship with Christ
2. Prepare for marriage

First and foremost, we must develop and/or strengthen our relationship with Christ.  So often we are focused on trying to figure out where to meet other singles and how to make our interpersonal relationships work. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with that, the best advice I ever heard in response to the age old question, “What should I do before marriage?” was “fall in love with Jesus and develop a relationship with Him.”

Though single, we must remember that as Christians our first priority is to live a life that is pleasing to Christ.  Our relationship with Him supersedes any other. Not only is it the basis for all other relationships in your life, but it will also benefit you greatly in life whether single or married.

This goes beyond church attendance.  I was baptized at an early age and I’ve been in church all my life, but it was not until I was an adult and living on my own that I developed a personal relationship with Christ.  It was as if God made everyone I ever depended on unavailable to me so I could seek Him personally and come to know Him for myself.  And I assure you that experiential knowledge of God will carry you through any circumstance.

Another benefit to developing a relationship with Christ (though a relationship with Christ is indeed its own reward) is developing a relationship with another will be easier because you’ve learned how to put self-sacrifice and submission into practice.

Just as we want to move beyond dating to a greater commitment of marriage in our personal relationships, God is not satisfied with us just dating Him once or twice a week; He too wants the greater commitment of marriage.  Christ has shown us by His example of death and resurrection that He is committed to having a relationship with us and now He wants a greater commitment from us. So use this time now to develop a thriving relationship with Christ, it will definitely be time well spent.

Second, begin preparing for marriage.  It always strikes me as odd that singles believe the time to begin preparing for marriage is once they get engaged.  Although we may not actually believe it, our actions seem to suggest that we will somehow automatically know how to build a successful marriage the moment we say “I do.” While I haven’t done any formal studies on this, I think one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high is because many people spend more time preparing for their wedding (an event that lasts a few hours) than for their marriage (a covenant that is designed to last a lifetime).

Marriage preparation should begin now.  I’m not referring to purchasing a wedding dress or the ring, while that’s fine to determine how you will be able to cover such large expenses, but I’m referring to changing your mindset.  Determine why you want to be married, what the Bible says about marriage, what is your role in marriage, etc.  Find joyfully married Christian couples and spend time with them to learn what it takes to build a solid foundation for a strong Christian marriage. Learn about the true realities of marriage, rather than what you’ve envisioned it to be.

Praying to be married without preparing for marriage is like praying for rain without grabbing an umbrella.  We must prepare to receive the blessing. Now I don’t proclaim to have all the answers, so ask God what you need to do to prepare for the blessing of marriage.

We often use the phrase “God will not put more on you than you can bear.” And although we use it to encourage others during difficult times, the same applies to God’s blessings.  He will not bless you beyond what you are able to handle.  Think about it, why would God give you His son or daughter when you have not yet demonstrated you are able to handle such a blessing?

While we cannot rush God to action, our preparation helps to ensure we won’t miss the opportunity when it is presented.  Though I am still single, I can tell you that since I’ve made my relationship with Christ the top priority in my life and begin preparing for marriage, I now encounter more suitable Christian single men. It is as if God is showing me examples of single Christian men to counter my previous notions that there are no good single Christian men out there.  I now have proof that they actually exist and I am encouraged by the fact that God continues to allow them to cross my path. And in His time He will reveal the one He has chosen to be my husband.

So no matter what else you choose to do during your season of singleness be sure that you develop a relationship with Christ and prepare for marriage.  Singleness is not a time of idleness, we are to be productive becoming all that God has designed us to be and preparing to receive the blessings He has in store for us.

About the Author

Lisa is the creator of www.the-christian-single-woman.com, a website dedicated to helping Christian single women lead fulfilling and whole lives during their season of singleness.   Though singleness is not a desired state for most, she is a firm believer that it should not be a season of depression.   As a Christian single who has endured many ups and downs in singleness, her heart’s desire is to be a voice of encouragement for Christian single women to remind them they are not alone, they have not been forgotten and most of all that they are loved by Christ.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like this other Wrinkle-free Wednesday post:

Single and Highly Favored

Photo credit: http://www.dreamstime.com/free-stock-photo-tower-bridge-2-rimagefree51280-resi1329930

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