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Marriage Mondays

I know people who are waiting with a list of characteristics that would make a perfect mate. Anyone that comes in their path with less than those qualifications are quickly dismissed with no further discussion. These people don’t want to live the rest of their lives with someone who is not perfect for them. Of course, people should marry someone who is right for them, who has similar values and interests, but to constantly compare someone to a list of things YOU want in a mate with no compromise, isn’t realistic.

The reason – nobody is perfect. The crazy part is, people are looking for the perfect mate, without even considering the fact that they have flaws themselves. How can we expect someone else to be perfect when we ourselves are flawed?

People want to find the perfect mate because they want to have a perfect marriage – but no such thing exists on this earth. The good news is, it doesn’t have to. In fact, the best part of marriage is accepting each other as is – flawed and imperfect. It’s wonderful because you can be yourself – you don’t have to try to hide your annoying habits or those extra 15 pounds. Love is accepting of it all.

Accepting the fact that there will be times when you and your spouse disagree often makes those disagreements less traumatic. Each person is entitled to his or her own opinion -  no two people can have the same opinions all the time. It’s not always going to be super romantic and dreamy – that’s not what marriage should be based on anyway, because those things are going to fade. Eventually life together will have mundane moments, but that’s okay. Everyday in life can’t be a carnival anyway, so why expect marriage to be that way?

If you talk to people who have been married many years, they will often tell you that there are times when marriage isn’t fun at all, but then they’ll also have five more stories about the good times. I’m reminded of a skit from an episode of “In Living Color” – there’s this really old couple – they tell these off the wall crazy stories about there life together, but then no matter how awful the story was, they’d always end it with “…and we still together.”

As crazy as life and marriage can be, when I’m old and sitting around with my grand children, and maybe even great-great grandchildren, I want to be able to look over at my hubby and say…”Yes, we fussed and disagreed sometimes. We didn’t have a perfect marriage…but we still together.”

Have you been struggling with accepting the flaws in your marriage?

For everything that we find wrong with our spouse, there is something equally wrong with us. Just because they don’t have the same flaws doesn’t mean theirs are any worse. If for every flaw we found in our spouse – we took a moment to examine one of our own, we’d come to realize that we are just as lucky to be with them as they are with us.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like these other Marriage Monday posts:

Let go of anger and let God heal your marriage

You don’t have to pluck your eye out, but…

Focus on the good in your spouse

Should you leave your unbelieving spouse?

What does Jesus say about marriage?

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Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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